


Our Own Rules

by midnightstarlightwrites



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged Up, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Forbidden Love, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love, Mutual Pining, Pining, Promises, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, possibly will have a part 2 with identity reveal, these kids have issues man, they've been fighting hawkmoth for years and they're tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-10-28 07:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20774807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightstarlightwrites/pseuds/midnightstarlightwrites
Summary: “Do you ever think about if we’d never been chosen?”Chat’s fingers gripped his cocoa like a lifeline. The thing was, even if Ladybug did return his feelings, they couldn’t be together. The city, their mission, was too important, bigger than the both of them.So he kept his stupid mouth shut, and never let his feelings slip. But sometimes, sometimes he got close. Sometimes he was tempted. Sometimes she asked questions like this… and he almost damned himself all over again.This was dangerous.





	1. Chapter 1

“Do you ever think about if we’d never been chosen?”

Chat Noir glanced up over his cup of cocoa, the plastic flask warming the tips of his fingers against a cold Parisian night. The pair sat, side-by-side, as they always did on a night patrol. Always close, never together.

The season was turning, the nights grew dark, and it appeared as though Ladybug was in one of her pensive moods.

“Something got you worried Bugaboo?”

His partner and long-time friend shook her head. Her eyes didn’t meet his, and Chat Noir squirmed in his seat. Before, they’d let the conversation lull itself into a comfortable silence. But now it wasn’t so. Now there were things unspoken, left lingering like the leaves currently falling from the treetop Chat’s toes skimmed.

“Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I was never picked,” she elaborated. The breeze picked up, loosening a strand of hair from her braid and Chat’s fingers gripped his cocoa like a lifeline. He inhaled, trying to focus on the words she said, looking up in time to see her waving her hand. “I mean, there’s so many girls in Paris, right? Sometimes I wonder what made me so special, what I’d be doing if I wasn’t sat here with you. What if I’d never become all of this. Do you ever think about stuff like that?”

Chat pondered on it for a moment, a thousand different confessions tried to force their way off his tongue, _if you’d never become Ladybug, I wouldn’t have met you and life would be so much worse. I’m so glad I’m sat here with you. I’m content with this. This is all I need. I promise. I **promise**. Do you regret it? Do you regret me?_

The confessions never left his mouth. He’d once professed his love to her on a near daily basis, when he’d been young and hadn’t known any better, hadn’t understood there was difference between forcing your love on someone and being honest about your feelings. It was one of his deepest regrets, and it had all come to a head three years ago when Ladybug had all but exploded at him. His gut twisted as he remembered her tears, her anger, her fear.

It was then that he’d truly understood. She _couldn’t_ reciprocate. Even if she did return his feelings, they couldn’t be together. The city, their mission, was too important, bigger than the both of them. And he’d put all of that on her, had forced her to make that choice every time he’d blurted out his emotions without thinking.

He’d hurt her, and he would _never_ do it again.

So he kept his stupid mouth shut, and never let it slip. But sometimes, sometimes he got close. Sometimes he was tempted. Sometimes she asked questions like this… and he almost damned himself all over again.

This was dangerous.

“I think about how awesome it is to be Superheroes every day My Lady!” He forced a cheerful smile into his tone, hoped she couldn’t see the grimace hidden just behind it. “We get to be the coolest people in all of Paris, saving the day, winning all the hearts…” Except for the heart that mattered to him the most. “What’s not to like about it? Why would I think about giving it up?”

He laughed then, the sound bouncing off the walls across the street and right back into his ears, so he could hear how fake it sounded two-fold. Chat fought not to wince. He looked away, stared at the sky.

“Chat.”

Ah. There was the wince. Ladybug’s voice indicated that she saw right through him anyway. No use fighting instinct to curl away from this conversation, this fire they were playing with.

Chat sighed, running a hand back through his hair, still refusing to look at her. He couldn’t bear it; couldn’t take looking into the eyes he’d drowned in time and time again. There was only so much dying a man could handle.

And yet he would continue to do it for her, over and over again, until time stopped. He really was pathetic. She could never know; he couldn’t never put that burden on her. Not again. Never again.

Fingers skimmed against his cheek and his eyes winded at the touch. He turned towards her on instinct. His throat tightened. “Ladybug…”

“I think that I’d be able to sleep better, not being a superhero,” Ladybug uttered. She looked at him now, and there was that drowning sensation again. Chat sat frozen, robbed of breath, lungs full of pain, and yearning and love, love, love, so much love he could hardly stand it. There was an almost primal instinct, a need to Cataclysm his chest if it would cut him open, soothe the incessant pressure on his poor heart. “I think that I’d be so much less stressed, I think I might’ve been akumatised once or twice due to an old classmate of mine. I think of how much easier it could be, how I could live by my own rules.”

She stared at his lips then and Chat wanted to run, wanted to hide, wanted to _hope_.

“And you can’t live by your own rules now?” Was that his voice- so timid and shy- tangled in past memories of _“No-one must know” _and _“Our identities have to be secret, even to each other,” _and _“You don’t GET IT do you, Chat? Do you think we even have a choice?!”_

“You know we can’t,” Ladybug said and the way she said ‘we’ made his heart clench.

Of course, they were a team. They saved Paris, they stopped Hawkmoth on an almost weekly basis, they kept the people safe…

This _‘we’ _felt different, and it caused Chat to lean into her touch ever-so-slightly, daring. He closed his eyes.

“I think of how alone I was before, how trapped I was,” Chat admitted, to himself and to her. “I don’t ever want to go back. There are rules here too, but I’m used to rules. I can follow them. One day… one day I might be able to follow my own. But I’ll never force my rules on others,” he opened his eyes again, pleading with her to understand.

Ladybug smiled, a sad and lonely thing that made Chat want to wrap her in his arms, comfort her, take all that pain away, take it onto himself so she never had to be sad another day in her life. “When did you grow up, Chaton?”

She scratched under his chin and some semblance of normality came back to the conversation. “Around the same time you didn’t, Shortie-bug.”

“Shut up!” she giggled, pushing him away from her and Chat sighed in relief. They were out of the danger zone now. For now. He chuckled back, raising his arms in mock surrender.

The conversation returned to lightness for the rest of the night. Eventually, a clock sounded somewhere in the distance, the noises of the cars (ever present) grew less prevalent. They got up, strolled side-by-side, shoulders brushing every now and then.

“Welp,” Chat stretched, letting his joints and syllables pop, “I should be off to bed,” He bowed low, flicking his bell at her (he’d never convinced Plagg to get rid of it no matter how many costume upgrades he’d gotten over the years), and made to leave.

“Chat!”

Fingers curling around his wrist stopped Chat in his tracks. Ladybug tugged him backwards, stood on tiptoes and, before Chat even knew what was happening, brushed her lips against the corner of his mouth.

It was a ghost of a kiss, barely lingering, but it set every nerve in his body on fire.

Ladybug pulled back, pressing her lips together, the lips that had very nearly been on his. “I- one day- this will all be over. Then we can make our own rules…right?”

A few garbled noises came out of his mouth before his brain was able to catch up. His hand brushed against the spot Ladybug had kissed. He smiled, feeling his eyes grow wet. He leaned down towards her, his favourite person in the whole world, and opened his arms. He’d never presume, even now.

He waited.

He didn’t have to wait for long.

Ladybug stepped into the empty space his arms had created, wrapping her arms around his middle. Chat pulled her into the embrace, kept his legs strong against his trembling knees. His whole body shivered, and he hoped she couldn’t feel it. But then, was he imagining it or was she shaking too?

“Right,” he sighed, closing his eyes and thinking of that long dreamt of day, “When this is over. We’ll make our own rules.”

“Together?” She whispered, the word so faint, Chat almost didn’t hear it.

But hear it he did, and the hope that had been threatening to bust out of the cage he’d placed it in all evening, finally broke free, flooding him with a glow so powerful it took his breath away.

“Oh My Lady,” he replied, letting the longing and love loose on his lips, hearing her gasp from it, “I wouldn’t know any other way.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Are we really doing this?”

Adrien Agreste leaned against the door, listening to the shaky voice of Ladybug on the other side. He tilted his head back against the wooden panelling, closed his eyes.

“Only if you want to,” he replied with a melancholy smile. A jolt of fear went through him. Just last week, if he’d known he would have been standing here, about to open the door between them, about to reveal their identities to each other, Chat Noir would have have been cartwheeling down the streets, the bell around his collar ringing for all to hear.

That was then, and back then, he’d had no idea (not even the slightest inkling) that he was the son of their arch enemy, the most dangerous man in all of Paris.

He knew better now.

“Of course I want to!” Ladybug (or rather the girl who was Ladybug) replied and a soft _thunk _on the door followed by an, _“ow,”_ told Adrien that she’d been caught flailing her arms. He chuckled. “I’ve always wanted to- you have to know that right? But the”-

-“The rules.” Adrien gulped, opening his eyes and staring at the ceiling. He shouldn’t be doing this. He should be leaving her alone. He should be hiding in shame. “I know.”

There was a pause, the length of a heartbeat. “Okay,” Ladybug’s voice was small, shy but determined. It made Adrien’s knees weak in anticipation. So many years wondering, hoping, yearning…

He hadn’t deserved a single second. Not with the father he had.

If only he hadn’t been so blind, so stupid, to not see what was right in front of him. His own father, _his own father!_

Adrien’s fists curled. Nails dug into flesh. Fu had just taken Plagg back, along with Ladybug’s kwami, and they were still at his place. He’d offered them some privacy to reveal their identities if they so wished, and now here they stood. In the dead quiet of night. One door and a million secrets between them. The lights weren’t even on in the room Adrien was in, but it was better that way, he thought. There was something comforting about the large room, a blanket of darkness rather than a prison cell. Habit made a phantom miraculous lie on his finger, where he reached to adjust it. It felt strange without it there. Cold.

It hadn’t been more than ten minutes since his terrible goodbye to Plagg, but he missed his encouragements already. The last words his kwami spoke rang in his ears:

_“Don’t lock yourself up in your own mind, kid, especially now you’re free from your dad’s control. Go out there and be the loud, funny, and annoying Chat Noir who loves life that you always were. Don’t ever lose that okay? Or I’ll come back and Cataclysm you myself.”_

The ghosts of fallen tears covered his cheeks in salt and Adrien rubbed furiously at his face. What else could the world take from him?

His throat tightened. Would she go too? Would she leave? Once she found out… would she think less of him?

Adrien couldn’t bear it. But Ladybug was counting down, the doorknob was jiggling, time was running out.

“Ladybug, wait!” he found himself yelling, grabbing the door before it could open, praying that it might stay shut for a little longer, that he might not know the answers to the toxic questions poisoning his mind, his soul, for just a moment more. “Before- before we do this. There’s something you need to know.”

What was he doing? What was he saying?

The doorknob stopped jiggling- the silence it left behind was louder than thunder and twice as unsettling. Adrien held his breath, reached for the phantom ring again- a nervous habit he would have to grow out of eventually. He was on his own now. His own rules. Just as Ladybug said.

“Oh…alright,” Ladybug’s voice was unsure. Perhaps it was his imagination but she sounded just as scared as he felt. A moment later and her voice grew stronger, laced with trust. “Whatever you have to say, I’ll listen.”

And just like that, a little part of the ice around Adrien’s heart, the fear consuming him, began to thaw.

“I- I have to be honest with you. I kinda want to run right now,” he sighed, resting his forehead against the door. She was so close; she’d gotten so close. Was she about to be ripped away again? He shook his head without meaning to. His father- the man who raised him- had been so afraid of losing the one he loved that he had given in to darkness, to evil. Adrien wouldn’t do the same. He was _not_ Gabriel Agreste. “I want to hide from you, pretend I’m not who I really am. Because who I really am is… complicated. But that would be lying, and the first rule I’m making for myself is that I’m always going to be honest with you. I won’t lie to the ones I love. Ever.”

There was another pause, but Adrien wasn’t scared by it. Even with the door between them, he knew Ladybug was taking in his words, considering them, handling them like the precious, fragile things they were. Most of his life, his words had been treated with little-to-no value. Like chunks of quartz surrounded by diamonds, they’d been mostly ignored. But she always treated his words- his serious ones- like the rarest jewels in the land. For that alone, he could have loved her, but there was so much else. So much more to her than what she could simply _give_ him.

In treating him with such kindness, such care, she lifted him up and inspired him to be a better person in his on right. To be a hero on her level, to be the superhero partner she’d deserved.

They had defeated evil together.

_God, please, please, please don’t let me lose her. Please don’t let her be disappointed in my failings._

“That’s very sweet and noble of you, Chat, but what if I was-like- kidnapped or something, and the only way to get me back was to lie to me? What would you do then?”

Adrien was so taken aback by the question, the sudden shift away from seriousness, that he barked out a laugh. “What?” he rasped, clutching his sides.

Ladybug giggled, high-pitched and nervous. “Sorry,” she stammered. “Just trying to lighten the mood. This is really big huh?”

“Yeah,” he replied, placing his hand against the doorframe. His heart grew warmer by the second. He was safe with her. He always had been. Yet, he could only hope she would see past the sins of his father. For the rest of his life he’d try to make up for them. He’d never noticed, never seen them being committed, and that was his fault, his burden to bear. “Yeah, it’s really big. Also- like you could ever be kidnapped. You’d destroy anyone who dared.”

“I don’t have my miraculous anymore.”

“My point still stands.”

“Chat,” Ladybug laughed. “You wanna know what my first rule is?”

“What?”

“Opening this damn door.”

Adrien beamed. “Alright. Your rule, so you open it.” He took a step backwards, shaking from head-to-toe, the smile wavering as nerves took over. “Whenever you’re ready, My Lady. I’ll be here. Take as long as you”-

The door opened.

And something in Adrien’s brain completely flatlined because Marinette, _Marinette Dupain-Cheng,_ was standing in front of him. Light poured in from Fu’s room and she was framed in a halo of it. Her long hair was loose around her shoulders. Her eyes were as wide as his own were sure to be, her pink lips parted in an ‘o’ of surprise…

The door slammed shut again.

Adrien garbled out a few nonsense syllables before squeaking out “M-Marinette?”

“Just a second!” Ladybug- MARINETTE- squeaked back.

All Adrien could do was stand there, arms hanging like dead weights at his sides, as seconds ticked on like hours. A clock nearby chimed. It was one in the morning. They’d had to come in the dead of night, so they wouldn’t be seen. Now that they’d taken down Hawkmoth, they were more popular and more watched than ever before.

As the seconds grew longer, Adrien grew evermore afraid. He worried at his lip, shuffled from foot-to-foot. His heart hammered in his chest. What was going on in her head? What was even going on in his?! How did he feel about this? His friend of so many years was also the love of his life?

_Wasn’t it always meant to be like this though?_ A small part of his heart spoke up, reminding him of umbrellas and rain. _Doesn’t this feel right?_

Adrien swallowed, stepping back towards the door. It did feel right, it felt so right. Of course, it was her. It was meant to be her. It had always been her, even when he hadn’t known it.

But her reaction terrified him. She’d slammed the door, left him in the dark.

Before he knew what he really wanted to say, words began spilling out of his mouth like a river bursting its banks during a downpour.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Marinette. I should have known it was my dad. I should have spotted it. Years… years I lived under the same roof I”- he hung his head, let out the faintest whisper- “please don’t be mad.”

The door opened again. Adrien barely had time to react before two hands wrapped around his arm, tugging him into Fu’s room, into the light and into Marinette’s arms.

“Mad? At you?” Marinette whisper was both gentle and incredulous as she buried her face into his chest and- _oh my god, _Adrien thought- snuggled him. “Of course, I’m not mad at you. I was just in shock…and wishing I’d kicked your dad’s ass harder.”

Adrien couldn’t help it. He laughed. Pressing a disbelieving, shaking hand to his mouth, he used his other arm to cling onto Marinette and not let go. He wouldn’t until she did. The last of his worries faded to nothingness, the last traces of coldness melted away. He was warm, so, so warm. “I can’t believe it’s you,” he uttered. “I’m so- I’m so _happy_ it’s you.”

Marinette hummed, and he could feel her smiling. He let out a purr and they both leaned back, surprised he could still do that. Maybe it was a leftover? Maybe it would fade with time?

Only then did they realise their close proximity. Marinette’s face turned pink and she stepped back (but not away from his arms), tucking a strand of hair behind her ears. “I’m- I’m happy it’s you too,” she admitted softly, and Adrien felt almost boneless with relief, with the ever-increasing joy nestling into his soul, with the pure rightness of it all. Marinette then wrinkled her nose. “I’m not happy it took me this long to find out that they guy I fell in love with so long ago happens to be the best superhero partner a girl could ask for too.”

Adrien’s hand dropped away from his mouth. He pulled her back in for another hug, tucking the top of her head under his chin. “You love me?”

“I always have,” Marinette replied, easily, as if she was stating the metro times on a slow Sunday. “I was so afraid to say it. For years I was terrified to even talk to you. I thought about letting you go, and when I saw you less and less as we got older, it got…easier, I guess? But then I’d see you and WHAM! Those feelings would come back and hit me right in the heart. And then you got more serious as Chat and I was just so confused. Like I was- like I was”-

\- “Like you were being pulled in different directions, only to find out you were being pulled in the same direction all along?” Adrien finished for her, pressed a timid kiss to her forehead. Somewhere in her speech, their hands entwined. “It’s the same for me, my lady, the exact same. I promise you I tried to hide my feelings from you as Chat from the moment you called me out on it. I never wanted to put that burden on you again. But I always had a soft spot for you as Marinette, you lingered in my mind far too much for me to consider you just my friend, even though I couldn’t do anything.”

“I know,” Marinette nodded, her smile widening by the second. “But we don’t have to hide anymore.”

Adrien pulled back. “Can I make I a new rule? I’m asking you because it affects you a great deal.”

Marinette tilted her head quizzically, a look so reminiscent of both her and Ladybug that Adrien briefly wondered how on earth he’d missed such obvious signs in all these years. He had a feeling that such revelations would continue on for quite some time.

“Sure,” Marinette replied with a half-shrug, as much as she could shrug given the fact that she was still (_still!_) in Adrien’s arms. Did she know that she was caressing his hands with her thumbs? Did she know Adrien never wanted her to stop?

Tentatively, Adrien reached out, his fingers hovering just before the spot above her ear. His heartbeat pounded against his ribcage, desperate to break free and join hers. Inhaling deeply, he played with a loose lock of her hair. She sighed, a content little thing which had Adrien almost swooning.

“My new rule is this. Marinette, Ladybug, I have loved you from the start. My first rule was to always be honest with you. The second is to continue loving you, cherishing you, for the rest of my life and beyond. We’ve conquered so much together and now I know that you’ve loved me too I’ll never let you go.”

Marinette’s face went straight back to his chest. Looking down, Adrien was delighted to see the tips of her ears were red. He was even further pleased at the cute little squeak he did. “You can’t just say stuff like that! Ugh! You’re so cheesy!” she chided, but her words had no bite behind them. If anything, she simply sounded flustered. But then she paused, met his eyes once more, and shook her head with a watery smile. “You don’t have to ask to love me. You don’t have to make it a rule.”

She brought her now free hand out from behind his back. Reaching up onto her toes, Marinette cradled his face in her palm. Instinctively, Adrien turned, kissing it. A little spark shot through his body at the gasp Marinette gave.

“But I _want_ to,” Adrien vowed. “I promised not to confess anymore, but the second I saw you open that door I knew I couldn’t leave here without you knowing, without me telling you. You stole my heart from the start, and you’ll have it for always. If you want to. If it’s ok to make the second rule.”

“Kitty,” Marinette squeeze her other hand, the one still holding his own. Adrien’s heart leapt at the urgency in her voice. “Of course, it’s ok. The only thing that isn’t ok is that you’re not kissing me _right now._”

Adrien didn’t need to be told twice. Tilting his head, he leaned down, pulling her even closer and pressing his lips against hers. They had kissed a few times over the years, in various superhero and civilian guises. But those times had always been akuma related. They had never been…never been theirs. Not really.

This was their first. Their first true kiss. Adrien eyes closed and he breathed her in, let her into his lungs, his heart, his whole being, all over again until it was only her love which made him up. Marinette clung to him, sighing once more against his lips and Adrien locked away the sound in his mind, for safe keeping. This was real. This was theirs. This was everything. Finally, _finally_.

When the kissing stopped, the former superheroes held hands. Giggling like children, they burst out of the front door, out into the Parisian night, into a future full of freedom and possibilities.

Into a world where they could write their own rules. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this lil two-shot! It was entirely self indulgent lol
> 
> come follow me here!!!! [On Tumblr](http://midnightstarlightwrites.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> Whatup, I'm Midnight and I'm considering adding some "with a happy ending" to this mutual pining angsty hurt/comfort mess I just wrote. Because I'm apparently incapable of writing a one-shot (Y'all remember when Smoulder was a one-shot? hahahaaaa RIP).
> 
> Anyways come yell at me [On Tumblr](http://midnightstarlightwrites.tumblr.com) I probably deserve it lol. Have a nice night!


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